This past week has been entirely too eventful.

• A  close friend in ICU, recovering too slowly.
• Rewriting the same 10K-word chapter 8 days in a row.
• A robber chased by an angry crowd crashes through the fence 16 feet above my backyard. He’s trapped in my courtyard, so we flee. Which means a whole police crew came to clear my house of a possible invader … just like on TV!

Oh, let’s relax with a peek at my text and phone message feed for the week.

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Annie: I mixed vodka with cucumber soda, hoping my body would think it was a salad. What a mistake.
Steve: You should have used brown liquid. Vodka is for cleaning eyeglasses.

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Bruce: He’s lunch meat right now.
Annie: He says dilaudid sux. Would gladly trade his oxy for a hamburger.

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SPD: Do you want to press charges for the damage to your fence?
Annie: No. Don’t actually know if it’s our fence.

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EmilyW: Want to go see the Yankees on June 10?
Annie: Sure.
EmilyW: And hold up a signboard with a CMOS citation instead of John 3:16?

[Being slow-witted this week, I  thought she meant motherboard memory, instead of Chicago Manual of Style. But even funnier, here’s Fake CMOS on Twitter.]

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Ajax: Chapter [you edited] fixed! Action! No more sadsack! Emotions changed to growth! Ramp up the tension!
Annie: What brand of garden hose did you get that doesn’t drip from the wall when the water’s turned on?

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Greg: I’m at the noodle place between 12^th  and 13^th on Pine. Where are you guys?
Annie: [cricket sounds]

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Annie: So excited you are graduating. Can’t wait to see you.
Laurie … From there you enter through the bar. Dining at front is a bit more pleasant. See you in a minute.
Annie: I may be late coz they closed 520 bridge WHILE I AM ON IT!

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Annie: The Girl Scout uniform store in Redmond is now a hippie incense and coffee shop. Need me to pick up any hippie badges for you?
EmilyP: I’m good – I got to archive notes from Howard Zinn this week. And here’s from our Rare Book collection.

[For years, Annie answers every “what’s a good book to read next?” with the same title.]